My autistic child is running on three ho

Three hours is a short night, not a crisis by itself — but it's below what any age band needs, so tonight the goal is not "fix sleep," it's get one protected block and keep the clock steady.

One thing I need from you: your child's age — it changes the hours target. I've put the table below so you can find your own row tonight without waiting.

Source: `references/hygiene.md` duration table (AASM 2016 consensus, Paruthi et al., endorsed by AAP) · accessed 2026-09-02 · adults: https://medlineplus.gov/healthysleep.html

---

Which fork is tonight

Not "bad habits." Your week is a schedule-mismatch + predictability problem: school week, a visual routine that already exists, and screens are already handled. So the gap isn't the routine's existence — it's that the routine ends differently depending on the night, and adult and child are both running on empty.

---

1) What you tried vs. what works better

Child chain, same order most nights: pyjamas → teeth → 1–2 books → bed. Screens off about an hour before.
Source: `references/wind-down.md` — https://www.nhs.uk/every-mind-matters/mental-wellbeing-tips/how-to-fall-asleep-faster-and-sleep-better/ · https://www.nhlbi.nih.gov/health-sleep-deprivation/healthy-sleep-habits · accessed 2026-09-02
Source: `references/hygiene.md` — https://medlineplus.gov/healthysleep.html · https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/insomnia/ · accessed 2026-09-02

Adult half (you're also at 3 hours)

Protect one block, don't chase a full night:

1. Split the night — one adult properly asleep, one properly awake. That is the real "both of us get rest" move.
2. Write tomorrow's to-do on paper before bed. The bed is not a planning meeting.
3. Last caffeine ≥6 h before your sleep time — it can still be working ~8 h. Put it to a clock, not to "evening."

Source: `references/wind-down.md` + `references/hygiene.md` (NHS consumer list) · accessed 2026-09-02

Kitchen/home — 25 min, food already there

No new shopping. Small, familiar, not a new food at bedtime:

• Dinner ends ~3 h before bed. No large late meal (NHS list).
• If they're hungry at the settling point: small, plain, already-in-the-house option — e.g. a little warm milk or a plain cereal — same as always, not a new "sleep food."
• Milk/magnesium-type "sleep aids": skip. No new powders, no online supplements, no melatonin for a child.

---

2) Avoid list

• No medication or supplement changes. Not for the child, not for you. That's the prescriber or pharmacist's call — including anything "just for sleep."
• No "sleep training" pressure, no bedroom as timeout. The room must predict sleep, not punishment.
• Don't chase sleep once they're in bed. Tonight's job is to lie down and rest — no target to "complete."
• Don't move to a later bedtime to fix an early waking — it makes the next night worse.
• No sedative, no alcohol as a sleep aid; alcohol fragments the night after it shortens the wait to fall asleep.
• If you're so tired you might drift off on the sofa or armchair with a child — put the child in their own safe sleep space first, before the cuddle, not after. That's what actually happens at 03:00.

Source: https://www.lullabytrust.org.uk/baby-safety/safer-sleep-information/co-sleeping/ · accessed 2026-09-09

• Do not drive when sleepy. Not short trips, not "if I feel alert enough." Arrange the ride or the stop.

---

3) Decision tree (screenshot this)

```
Child or you: loud snoring / gasping / someone saw breathing stop?
→ YES: stop DIY. Clinician (family-doctor). NOT a pillow problem.
→ NO ↓

Child or you: blue/grey in sleep, or chest pain / coughing blood?
→ YES: urgent / emergency care now. Stop DIY.
→ NO ↓

You nod off driving, at work, or mid-conversation?
→ YES: do not drive. Clinician decides fitness to drive.
→ NO ↓

Bad nights for WEEKS (not two) with daytime collapse — can't function at school/work?
→ YES: this is past home levers. Book a clinician; take a 7-day diary with you.
→ NO ↓

Child can't settle most nights, or snores and is still exhausted?
→ YES: ask the paediatrician about a sleep review (breathing, adenoids/tonsils, sensory/medical causes). I can't diagnose that.
→ NO: home plan above. Record it.
```
Source: `references/red-flags.md` — https://medlineplus.gov/healthysleep.html · https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/sleep-apnoea/ · accessed 2026-09-02

---

Tonight's 3 moves

1. Fixed wake time tomorrow, same as every day — no sleeping in, even after 3 hours.
2. Shrink the chain, don't add to it. Pyjamas → teeth → one book → bed. Warning at 10 min and 2 min before each step.
3. Split the night so one of you is properly asleep while the other is properly awake.

The weekly anchor

> Same wake time every single day, including Saturday — and weekends may move no more than about an hour. Everything else hangs off that one clock.

Want me to set the wake-time reminder? I'd use Bangkok time unless you tell me your actual timezone.

Success in 24 hours — honestly

Not "they slept 10 hours." Success is: the wake time held, the child got a protected block instead of a fragmented one, and you got one unbroken stretch. That's it. A calmer week builds from there — I'm not promising a cure, and three hours tonight is a bad night, not a verdict.

Recording vs. clinic

This is a week to record — 7 days of the child's sleep (bed, lights-out, time to sleep, wakes, final wake, rise) is the thing a clinician actually uses. Give me the times each morning and I'll enter them.

Hand off: if the tree above lands on any YES — or if you're three hours down every night for weeks — the clinician, not this plan, decides what happens next.

Not something I can do: diagnose a sleep disorder, read a sleep study or a wearable score, or decide any medication or dose for your child, you, or the older person at home.