Could I become like the people I look up

Yes — but the cards won't answer it as a personality question, and they point at something you can actually go look up.

Past — Queen of Pentacles, reversed. What got you looking up to these people was substance: their actual output, the rooms they run, the fact that something real came out of their week. Reversed here, that substance is sitting a bit distorted — you may be holding the polished version (the title, the standing, the visible results) rather than the machine that produced it. That's the root, and it's checkable.

Present — Four of Swords, reversed. This is the hinge. Four of Swords upright is a deliberate pause; reversed, the pause has gone on long enough to become avoidance or restless waiting. You're not blocked by ability — you're stopped, watching, still gathering information instead of spending yourself on a trial run. Not a sign anything bad is coming; a sign the stop itself is the thing that isn't producing.

Future — Nine of Pentacles, upright. Under that condition, the trajectory is not their life — it's the small, self-contained version. Own work, a body of something you made, independence you can point at. Earned slowly, not granted.

Reading it together: two Pentacles in three seats means material work is the main channel, not temperament or charisma. Two reversals and one upright means the movement is from stalled to moving, not from failing to succeeding.

The conditional: if when you look at what these people actually did in the last month or two, the visible thing is a repeatable craft or system — hours, method, a body of work — then this Nine of Pentacles is a realistic destination for you and the gap is practice, not identity. If what you find instead is mostly recognition, access, or who they knew, then you're looking at the outcome and not the cause, and copying the outcome is what the reversed Queen is warning about.

One step, this week, on your own: pick the one person you admire most, find one dated, concrete trace of their work from the past two months — something published, shipped, decided, or signed — then write down the single repeatable thing they must have done to produce it. Not what they are like. The one thing they did. That document is not something I can give you, and it settles the conditional above better than any number of cards will.

Would you like this three-card spread drawn as a picture, or kept in your journal for next time?