How should I celebrate Samhain this year

Short answer: pick two or three things and do them completely — involvement comes from depth and from other people, not from how many rituals you stack on.

Samhain this year runs Friday 31 Oct through Sunday 1 Nov, so you actually have a weekend-shaped window. Most people feel "not really part of it" because they do one generic thing alone. The parts that tend to land:

Do one of these properly, not all of them

• The meal and the names. Set a place, cook something real, and say out loud the names of the dead you are keeping — plus one specific story each. This is the single part most people skip, and it's the one that changes the feeling of the night.
• A fire or a lamp at the door. One flame, lit at dusk, kept until it burns down. Doesn't need to be outdoors.
• Writing. A letter to someone you've lost and haven't written to in years, or one page in a notebook you keep from now on. Unfinished is fine; sealed or burned is the traditional finish.
• Cemetery or memorial tending. If there's a grave within reach, that's the most grounding version and it costs nothing but the effort.

Two things that reliably make it feel more yours

• Do it with one other person. A phone call that says "I'm lighting a candle at nine, light yours" does more than a perfect solo ritual.
• Cut what isn't yours. Pick your own music, your own food, your own words. Generic Halloween décor around a real Samhain practice is what makes it feel flat.

If nobody nearby celebrates, say so — then do the meal and the names anyway and tell one person you're doing it. That alone usually fixes the feeling.

Want me to draw a single card for the season as a closing ritual?