My 5-day-old only sleeps on me and wakes

Yes — at 5 days, waking the instant she is put down is one of the most common newborn patterns, and it usually loosens as she gets older. Nothing about her says something is wrong. The part that needs changing tonight is not the baby: it's the couch. Five days in, feeding overnight, and you dozed off with her on the sofa — that is exhaustion talking, not a failure, and it is the one item on tonight's list to remove.

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1) What you've tried → what to do instead

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2) Tonight's three moves (each 1–3 minutes)

Move 1 — Bassinet-first when you feel yourself nodding off.
Put her on her back in her own bassinet *before* the feed or cuddle, then go feed her. If you think you might drift off, she goes down first, not after. This is the whole safety change.

Move 2 — The same 5-step put-down, every single time.

1. Dim lights, white noise on (same spot, same level).
2. Swaddle or sleep sack, face clear.
3. Feed / soothe until calm but still awake (she should not be asleep yet).
4. Lower her onto her back in the bassinet, hand still on her chest for a count of ~10–20, then slowly lift off.
5. Walk away. Leave the room. Let the quiet be the next thing she learns.

Her bassinet goes in the same spot every time, and it stays in your room (same room, own sleep space — not your bed) for at least the first six months.

Move 3 — 60 seconds before you put her down: fed? burped? nappy clean? not too hot or too cold? Swaddled safely? If any of those is off, fix that first — a lot of "she won't go down" is hunger, wind, or warmth, not sleep.

The night shift, split in blocks. You and the other adult each get one solid 3–4 hour stretch of real sleep: 9pm–1am one person, 1am–5am the other. Her bassinet is in the room either way. That is the safe version of "let me sleep" — one adult properly asleep and one properly awake, never two half-asleep on a sofa.

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3) Decision tree (screenshot this)

```
Is she breathing comfortably, feeding, and are you still awake?
├─ YES → 5-step put-down, calm-but-awake, hand on chest, walk away.
├─ YOU'RE NODDING OFF → baby on her back in the bassinet FIRST,
│ then call the helper. Do NOT carry her to the sofa.
└─ ANY RED FLAG BELOW → stop all troubleshooting, call your local
emergency number or go to the emergency department.
```

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4) Avoid list

• Sofa or armchair sleep with her, in any form, including "just for a minute."
• Bed-sharing if you might fall asleep, and never with alcohol or anything that makes you drowsy.
• Delaying feeds to stretch her sleep; a 5-day-old usually wants feeding every couple of hours, and her own feeding log is the reference.
• Tight wrapping, weighted swaddles or weighted blankets, sleep positioners, inclined loungers, nest cushions, car seats for sleep, crib bumpers, loose blankets, pillows or toys in the bassinet.
• Swaddling once she shows any sign of rolling.
• Melatonin, supplements, herbal remedies, powders, or anything bought online for a baby who "sleeps badly" — a 5-day-old with a sleep question needs a clinician, not a product. No medication changes on your own either.
• Fixed sleep-duration targets, cry-it-out, or any expectation that she "sleeps through" this week. This is a newborn, not a behaviour problem.

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5) Red flags — stop DIY care, get help now

Call your local emergency number (if you are in Bangkok: 1669; otherwise tell me your city/country and I will pull the right one) or go straight to the emergency department if any of these appear:

• Not feeding at all, or refusing the breast entirely
• Hard to wake, floppy, or will not settle in your arms
• Weak or high-pitched cry
• Fast or laboured breathing, breathing pauses, grunting, or blue lips or skin
• Temperature 38 °C or above in a baby under 3 months, or feeling unusually hot or unusually cold
• Green vomit, or blood in the stool
• Markedly fewer wet nappies than usual, or a deeply sunken soft spot on her head
• Yellowing spreading to her arms and legs, or getting worse
• Seizure-like movements
• You feel feverish or unwell while feeding her

And separately: if you feel you cannot keep going, or that you might hurt yourself — that is a get-help-now situation too. Call someone tonight, and say the words out loud to the person near you.

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6) Scripts to screenshot and send

To the helper (elder or sibling):
> "Can you sit with her for 20 minutes so I can actually sleep? And one rule: if I get too sleepy with her, I put her in her bassinet first and call you — please don't let me fall asleep with her on the couch."

To the other adult, to split the night:
> "You take 9 to 1, I take 1 to 5, then we swap. Her bassinet stays in the room. Nobody sleeps holding her."

To the pediatrician or midwife at the newborn check:
> "She's 5 days old and only settles when held, so I've been putting her down on her back in her bassinet every time. Can you check her weight and feeding? Can you tell me three things: when she can sleep in her own room, when we can stop waking her to feed, and exactly which signs mean I should come back tonight?"

On the fridge, for you:
> "If I feel myself drifting off → baby on her back in the bassinet → then wake the helper."

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7) What success looks like in 24 hours (no cure promised)

She will probably still wake many times. Success is safer and more repeatable, not uninterrupted:

• Every sleep — including daytime naps — starts on her back in her own bassinet.
• Zero couch or armchair sleeps with her.
• The 5-step put-down is identical every time, and at least 2–3 put-downs happened with her calm-but-awake.
• You have the red-flag list and a clinic appointment with the questions written down.

The one-week anchor (write it on the fridge):
> *For the next 7 days: every sleep starts on her back in her own bassinet, the same 5 steps every time — and if I feel myself nodding off, she goes down first, then I wake the helper.*

Record it, and take it to the clinic: this is a week to both record and bring in. Fill in the feed / wet-nappy / settled-after-feed row on the one-page sheet you already have for the next 24 hours and take it to the newborn check — no new log to invent.

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Who decides: the pediatrician or midwife decides weight, feeding, and anything medical; your clinic also decides the room-sharing and night-feed questions. I am not a clinician and I am not diagnosing anything here — this is home care for tonight, plus a clear plan for when to bring her in.

Sources: AAP safe sleep and swaddling guidance (healthychildren.org) · NHS safe sleep and SIDS advice · NHS/Lullaby Trust on never settling to sleep on a sofa or armchair, and placing the baby down first if you might drift off · WHO safe sleeping for newborns and under-5s · CDC safe sleep for babies · Newcastle Children's Hospital on night waking being normal in the first year.