With my 9-week-old I kept checking wake

Fork, named back to you: this is not a wake-window mistake or a "schedule mismatch" — at 9 weeks, waking every couple of hours all night is ordinary infant night waking, and most babies aren't reliably settled all night until well past a year. Wake-window charts online are written for a baby who can stretch between feeds; at 9 weeks they are the wrong instrument. The thing that actually protects you tonight is safe sleep + a repeatable chain + one adult properly asleep — not a better chart.
Source: references/child-sleep.md items 3–5 (NHS Great North Children's Sleep Service, accessed 2026-09-02)

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1) What you tried vs. what to do instead

The 3 rules that matter at 9 weeks — this is the whole thing:

1. Back down, every sleep, on their own firm flat surface, cot clear (no pillows, duvets, loose blankets, soft toys, nests/pods).
2. Same room as you, own sleep space, for at least the first 6 months — not your bed.
3. Never settle on the sofa or armchair. If you might drift off, put the baby down safe *first*, then feed/cuddle.

Source: (internal file path omitted) (NHS, page last reviewed 25 November 2025, read 2026-10-06); references/child-sleep.md items 6–9.

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2) Tonight / today — one simple bedtime routine

The baby chain, ~12 minutes, three steps only (screens off before you start, lights dim):

1. Change + sleep clothes, lights low
2. One book, one song — same two, every night
3. Drowsy → down on back in the cot. Then you leave.

Kitchen / night prep, 5 minutes, using what's already there:

• Put one bottle/feed setup out on the counter before step 1 — no assembly, no searching at 2 am.
• Put a glass of water and one easy-to-eat snack on the counter for *you*, next to it. Eating standing up counts.
• Nothing new. No new foods, no supplements, no powders, nothing bought tonight.

The split night, with your partner on long hours: agree on two named blocks in advance — e.g. "I take 21:00–01:00, you take 01:00 onward" — and the rule for the off-block adult is *stay in bed, phone out of reach*. Sleep in blocks, not one long stretch; that is the safe version of "let me sleep", and it replaces the sofa completely.
Source: references/child-sleep.md item 10 (NHS / Lullaby Trust, accessed 2026-09-09).

Your own last 20 minutes: pick tomorrow's one must-do and write it on paper, then close it. Phone charging outside the room. Do not set a target for "finishing" the sleep — tonight's job is lying down and resting.

The weekly anchor: *Same three steps, same order, most nights — and the off-block adult stays in bed, so one adult is properly asleep every night.* Run it for 7 nights before you judge anything.

This is a record week, not a clinic week. One row per night: sleep start, longest stretch, wakings, longest crying stretch, feeds, who was up. That sheet is what you take to the next routine baby check (health visitor / paediatrician) — no urgent appointment needed on sleep grounds alone.

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3) Constraints and avoid list

• No medication, no melatonin, no supplements, no sleep drops, no "mystery powder," nothing bought off the internet — not for the baby, not for you, and don't change any existing prescription. If someone suggests a sleep aid for either of you, that goes to your prescriber or pharmacist, who decides.
• Never settle on the sofa or armchair, even for one feed — this is the single biggest overnight risk when the adult is exhausted.
• Don't bed-share if anyone in the bed smokes, drinks, or takes anything drowsy; and if baby was premature (<37 weeks) or under 2.5 kg. If it happens anyway: baby on back, pillows and duvet away, no other children or pets, don't swaddle.
• Room ~16–20 °C; feet at the bottom of the cot; if baby has started rolling, still put them on the back.
• The elder or sibling nearby: their job is a 10-minute shift in the cot next door during *your* block — not holding the baby, not a second caregiver at the sofa. Give them a fixed start and end time so the night doesn't grow a third pair of arms.
• Don't turn the bedroom into a timeout space; don't chase "perfect nights" for a week.

Source: (internal file path omitted); references/child-sleep.md items 6–10.

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4) Decision tree

• Baby back down, re-settles without you → normal. Do nothing. Log the row.
• Crying hard, red, won't settle for a long stretch → check the four boring things in order: feed, nappy, temperature/too hot, position. If all fine and they still won't stop → do the safe things and hold. Two hard crying spells a day is normal; see red flags for the rest.
• You feel you might fall asleep while holding them → baby into the cot now, even mid-feed; wake the partner or the elder.
• Two nights in a row you got fewer than ~4 hours of unbroken sleep → tell the partner/household tomorrow and hand over a block. This is a schedule problem to solve with adults, not a baby problem to solve with a technique.
• You feel low, hopeless, or tearful most days, or scared of being alone with the baby → that's a clinician conversation, not a sleep-technique conversation. Ask your own doctor / health visitor this week.

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5) Red flags — stop DIY, get help

Call your emergency number now if baby: stops breathing; will not wake up; is struggling for breath; goes stiff, shakes or jerks; lips, tongue, face or skin suddenly turn pale, blue or grey; is limp, The emergency number here was not verified for where you are — dial your local emergency number, or tell me which country you are in and I will look it up.

Same-day appointment if: feeding is persistently hard or you cannot get baby to latch/suck as they were, weight gain worries you, there is repeated forceful vomiting, greenish vomit, blood in the stool, a fever in a young baby, or a rash with fever, or the crying is new and inconsolable for hours.

Never wait it out if: baby is under your care and you feel you might fall asleep on the sofa, or you cannot stay awake and safe. A sleepy adult is the emergency here, not the baby.

The emergency number here was not verified for where you are — dial your local emergency number, or tell me which country you are in and I will look it up.

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6) Screenshot-ready scripts

To the elder or sibling: *"Tonight baby sleeps in their own cot in our room — [X] is with them from [time] to [time]. If they cry, call me first, don't pick them up. You don't have to do anything else tonight."*

To your partner: *"Tonight's plan: I take [block], you take [block] and stay in bed even if you hear crying — the baby goes back down on their own. Tomorrow we swap so one of us gets a real 4 hours. If I fall asleep holding baby, wake me and put the baby down first."*

To the forum/apps: *"I'll stop posting for a week. I'm running one 3-step chain and logging it. If you see something that isn't one of these three — back in own clear cot, same room, no sofa — it's out of scope for me right now."*

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7) What success looks like in 24 hours

Not "baby sleeps through" — at 9 weeks that is not the goal and I won't promise it. Success tonight is three concrete things: the chain ran in the same order once; one adult got a real unbroken block and never dozed on the sofa; one row got written in 60 seconds. If those three happen, tonight counts, and repeat for seven nights before you evaluate anything.

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Sources

• NHS, Sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS) — page last reviewed 25 Nov 2025, read 2026-10-06 → (internal file path omitted)
• NHS Great North Children's Hospital Sleep Service, sleep in infants 0–12 months, accessed 2026-09-02
• Lullaby Trust, co-sleeping information, accessed 2026-09-09 (UK charity supplement, not a substitute for NHS)
• NHS Every Mind Matters / NHLBI healthy sleep habits, accessed 2026-09-02 (your own wind-down chain)

I don't diagnose sleep disorders, don't interpret any study or device readout, and don't set medication or clinical sleep restriction — the prescriber decides those.

Want the 3 rules + the 5 diary fields as a one-page card you can put on the fridge, and a nightly 60-second log reminder? For the reminder, tell me your timezone if it isn't the account's (Asia/Bangkok).