Our dog has always slept in our bed and

Short answer: the safe arrangement is a separate, firm, flat sleep space for the baby in your room, with the dog on its own bed or in a gated area — and never on the bed and never sharing the baby's sleep surface. You do not need a crate, and the months before the due date are exactly the window to retrain the dog so the change is boring rather than dramatic.

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1) What you have tried vs. the better version

A third thing you have not mentioned but should: the baby's sleep space belongs in *your* bedroom from the start. Room-sharing (same room, separate sleep space) is safer than bed-sharing and safer than the baby in another room, and it is the setup that makes the dog's off-bed rule workable. Set the cot up now, months before the birth, and live with it so it is not new on day one.

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2) Tonight and today — about 25 minutes total

1. Pick the dog's spot (10 min). Use what is already at home: a folded blanket or rug as a mat, a laundry basket as a nest, a towel over a cushion. Put it 1–2 m from the cot but on the far side of the room, and if you have a baby gate, gate the cot side.
2. Two short training rounds (8 min, 3–4 min each). Hand-feed a few pieces of the dog's usual kibble at the mat, step away, reward the moment it lies down and stays. Do it a few times a day, not one long session. Keep all training treats, chews and table scraps to no more than about 10% of the dog's daily food, and take that amount off the meals.
3. One 5-minute family talk with the sibling/elder who is around (script below).
4. 2 minutes: put the Wednesday anchor in your phone (section 6).
5. Tonight's human plan: split the night in blocks so one adult is properly asleep and one properly awake, with the baby on their own flat surface either way. If anyone might drift off holding the baby, put the baby down in their own space first, then feed or cuddle. The sofa and armchair are not nap surfaces, and they are not "just for a minute" either.

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3) Avoid list

For the baby

• No bed-sharing — not with an adult, not with a sibling, not with the dog. Room-share in a separate sleep space instead.
• Never the sofa or armchair, alone or with a person, even for one feed that turns into a nap.
• Cot contents: fitted sheet only. No pillows, duvets, loose blankets, soft toys, crib bumpers, positioners, weighted blankets.
• Baby on their back for every sleep, naps included. Surface firm, flat, level.
• Car seat or stroller is travel, not a sleep space — move the baby to their own space as soon as you can.
• No powders, supplements, drops or herbal "calming" products for the baby, and nothing bought as a prescription online.

For the dog

• Not on the bed, and not sharing the baby's sleep surface or cot space, ever.
• Reward-based training only: no shouting, no leash jerks, no choke/prong/shock/citronella collars, no pushing the dog off the bed, no "testing" whether it growls. Fear and pain as training tools carry real risk of aggression and a worse bond.
• No new supplement, calming powder, or human medicine for the dog without a vet.
• No dog left alone with the baby, and no dog left "in charge" of the baby while the adult sleeps.

For the caregiver

• If you are sleepy, do not drive and do not plan to hold the baby on the sofa. The clinician or the licensing authority decides fitness to drive — not how alert you feel.

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4) Decision tree

A. Where does the baby sleep tonight?

• Own firm flat space (cot, bassinet, carrycot on a firm base) in your room, baby on back, nothing else in it → good, keep it.
• No safe surface yet → fix that first tonight; a travel cot or a firm flat surface in the room is the temporary answer, not a cushion pile, not the bed, not the sofa.
• You might fall asleep holding the baby, or you have had alcohol/medicines that make you drowsy, or the baby may be early (before 37 weeks) or under 2.5 kg → bed-sharing is off the table entirely, and the sofa is the first thing to take out of the night.
• The baby fell asleep on the sofa or someone's chest → move them to their own space as soon as you notice; that is the plan failing, not you failing.

B. Where does the dog sleep tonight?

• Dog settles on the mat and stays, relaxed, no growling at people near the cot → mat in the same room + gate on the cot side.
• Dog whines, paces, refuses to settle, or guards the mat, the food bowl, or the baby → no free access: use the gated area or a separate room, and book a vet behaviour consultation before the baby arrives. Do not punish the guarding.
• Dog's behaviour changed suddenly — hiding, panting, destruction, less eating, drinking or toilet changes, limping → vet first. A sudden behaviour change can be pain or illness, and no amount of training fixes a medical cause.

C. Who is nearby at night?

• An elder nearby → they should not be the one handling the dog and the baby alone at night, and should not be holding the baby while also managing the dog. If they share the room, they get their own separate sleep surface and the dog does not get on it.
• A sibling in the room → their bed is theirs; no bed-sharing with the baby; the dog does not sleep in either bed; and the sibling does not supervise the dog-and-baby pair unsupervised.

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5) Red flags — when to stop DIY and get help now

Baby — emergency, call your local emergency number now

• Blue or grey colour in sleep, or breathing that stops and starts, or gasping.
• Baby is limp, unusually hard to wake, or not feeding with colour change.

While waiting: baby on their back in their own safe space, and someone else calls. I don't have your location, so I won't invent a number — tell me your country/area and I'll pull the right local one and the nearest 24-hour vet.

Dog — emergency vet now

• Bite or any tooth contact with skin, on anyone.
• Seizure, collapse, laboured breathing, unable to urinate, major bleeding.

Dog — vet within hours/days

• A bite or an "accident" on the baby or a child, even without a mark, or any growling/lunging around the baby → separate people from the animal first, keep the dog in a quiet retreat, do not approach the trigger, do not punish, and get a behaviour professional involved. A bite to a baby is a vet and clinician matter, not a family negotiation.
• Sudden behaviour change with pain signs, appetite or water change, vomiting or limping.

Caregiver — clinician, not a coaching problem

• New snoring, or daytime collapse, or a night-time breathing problem during pregnancy → this is a clinician question, not something to sleep-train around. Get it assessed.
• If you are driving the school run and are sleepy, the drive does not happen. Arrange the ride or the stop.
• If at any point you feel you cannot keep going, say so plainly and ask for help tonight — that is a help-now situation, not a routine to work on.

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6) Weekly anchor (write this in your phone)

> Every Wednesday evening, after the last school-run handoff, the dog's mat is in the baby's room, the gate goes up, and the dog's last piece of food of the day is the reward for settling there — the bed stays empty.

Record or clinician this week: not a sleep-diary week. Keep one line per training round for the dog (date · step · place · tries · right · next time) — that log is what you take to the vet, and what tells you the habit is real instead of hopeful. Clinician: do one booking now, not after the birth — a vet behaviour consult for the dog before the due date, and your midwife/obstetrician to agree the night plan and who does which block.

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7) What success looks like in 24 hours (no cures promised)

• The dog spent the night on its mat or in the gated area — not on the bed. Whining for ten minutes and then settling still counts as success.
• The cot held nothing but a fitted sheet, and the baby was on their back for every sleep.
• One adult got a proper unbroken block and nobody fell asleep on the sofa.
• The one person who is nearby heard the new rule out loud and can repeat it.

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8) Scripts to screenshot

To the sibling or elder who is around
> "From now on the baby's cot is baby's own space: no pets, no toys, no blankets, and nobody sleeps in that bed — not even for a nap. The dog's place is the mat on the far side of the room. If the dog is fussing in the night, please don't let it onto the bed; wake me and I'll take it. If I look like I'm about to fall asleep on the sofa with the baby, take the baby and put them in the cot, flat on their back."

To the vet (dog)
> "We're asking our dog to sleep on a mat instead of the bed before a baby arrives. He has never used a crate and we don't plan to force one. Does he have any history of guarding food, toys, beds, or people? Is a mat plus a gate enough for now, or do you want a behaviourist involved before the birth? Is he due any check or vaccine?"

To whoever covers the school run
> "If I look tired when I'm driving, don't let me push on. Take the kids, or I'll stop and wait for a ride. Driving tired is not one of my jobs this month."

To ask at the newborn visit
> "How long can the baby be in a room with the dog before an adult needs to be within arm's reach? And what is our plan for the nights when one of us is exhausted?"

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Sources. Infant safe sleep: NHS SIDS page, AAP/HealthyChildren, WHO, Lullaby Trust (via the child-sleep card, accessed 2026-09-02). This-turn official reference (not a card source): Safe to Sleep® (NIH/NICHD), https://safetosleep.nichd.nih.gov/reduce-risk/safe-sleep-environment — babies should never sleep on an adult bed, couch or armchair alone, with others, or with pets; bed-sharing with a pet is not recommended; room-sharing without bed-sharing is the safest option. Dog training and feeding: AVSAB reward-based methods statement; Clickertraining plan writing; Preventive Vet session length; AKC treat allowance — all via the pets training-plan and feeding-amount cards.

Who decides. Your vet and a qualified behaviour professional decide the dog's plan and any medication; your midwife/obstetrician decides the birth and night plan; a clinician decides anything about your own sleep, your snoring, or the baby's health. I can help you ask the right questions and hold the routine — not replace any of them.