We just brought home a newborn and our 2

Both sleep-coaching cards for tonight are open — child sleep (`references/child-sleep.md`) and the bedtime chain (`references/wind-down.md`), with the day-clock ranges from `references/hygiene.md`. Here's the plan.

What night this is

A bedtime regression with two triggers stacked in one week: a new sibling, plus a room move. In plain terms this is a *precipitating* night (`references/insomnia-model.md`), not a disorder, not a habit you failed to build. It is not the "difficulty falling asleep" fork and not a clock problem — nothing about it says your toddler needs a new routine tonight. The risk is what gets added while you fix it: an earlier bedtime, catch-up naps, or the parental bed "just this week."

1) What you tried vs. the better alternative

You changed the toddler's room in the same week as the new baby. That's two big changes with no gap. Best move tonight: revert the room change for 7 days — sleep the toddler back in the familiar room, keep the familiar chain, and let the only new thing in the house be where the baby sleeps. The room should predict sleep, and right now it predicts upheaval (`references/wind-down.md`: same few steps, same order, most nights; the bedroom is for sleep, not a second office or a timeout space).

The chain itself is the intervention, and it's three steps: pyjamas → teeth → one or two books, same order, screens off about an hour before (`references/wind-down.md`). The goal tonight is not "asleep by 20:30" — it's that the chain happens in the same order even if the last step takes 40 minutes.

Also normal, so you can stop worrying about it: most babies wake through the night for at least the first year — hunger, nappy, teething, milestones (`references/child-sleep.md`). And the useful question with either child is not "zero wake-ups" but "can they put themselves back?" Whatever you do at 02:00 — feed, rock, lights-on play — becomes the association. Aim for the baby *drowsy in their own space*, not asleep in your arms every cycle.

Ranges, as context only, not targets: 4–12 months 12–16 h/24 h including naps; 3–5 y 10–13 h including naps (AASM 2016 consensus, via `references/hygiene.md`).

Tonight (three moves, ~25 min total):

1. Toddler's room back to its old setup before 19:00 — same bed/spot, same chain, screens off an hour before. (10 min)
2. Bedtime stays where it was, don't pull it earlier. Hold the same wake time; don't let it swing more than about an hour across weekdays and weekends (`references/wind-down.md`). (0 min — it's a "don't")
3. Split the night into blocks. One adult is properly asleep, one properly awake, baby on their own flat surface either way. The exhausted adult is never the one holding the baby on the sofa — put the baby down in their own space *before* the cuddle if you feel you might drift off (`references/child-sleep.md`). (setup at handover)

Kitchen/home, under 25 minutes: toddler's dinner = the two or three familiar things they already eat, served earlier than usual, in the kitchen — not the bedroom. No new foods this week. Adult dinner = whatever is already in the fridge, one pot, eaten sitting down. Nobody cooks a special meal this week; the food is not the problem.

Weekly anchor (the one sentence): *For the next 7 days, nothing about the toddler's sleep changes except where the baby sleeps — same wake time, same three-step chain, same room as before.*

Success in 24 hours: not a quiet house. It's one night where the chain runs in order and one adult gets an unbroken block of real sleep. That's a win, not a cure — regressions like this usually take a week or two of boring repetition, and I can't promise a date.

Decision tree for tonight

• Toddler won't settle, baby asleep → keep the room dark and boring, sit nearby, don't add a third step or a new song. Short boring settles beat long creative ones.
• Toddler asks for "one more book" → this is the only negotiable item. Cap at the two books that already existed.
• You are the one about to collapse → hand the baby to the awake adult and go to bed. A rested adult at 04:00 beats two awake adults.
• Someone suggests the toddler sleeps in your bed "just until the baby settles" → that's the habit you're avoiding. Room-share, not bed-share (below).

2) Avoid list (non-negotiable)

• No sofa or armchair with the baby, ever, and don't plan to settle there — that's the surface where a tired adult falls asleep. Take it out of the night rather than trusting someone to stay awake (`references/child-sleep.md`).
• Baby on their back, every sleep, naps too. Own cot/bassinet, own empty space: firm, flat, no incline, no pillows, duvet, loose blankets, toys or bumper pads.
• Room-share, not bed-share — same room, separate sleep surface, for at least the first six months. And with a 2.5-year-old in the house: the newborn's bed-share space must be free of the toddler, pillows and duvet. Bed-sharing is barred outright if anyone smokes, drank alcohol, or took anything drowsy that night, or if the baby was premature or under 2.5 kg. Those conditions follow the adult, not the furniture.
• No bedroom as a timeout spot. It has to predict sleep.
• No melatonin, no sleep powders, no "calm" supplements, no buying anything off a website for either child. Nothing for a 2.5-year-old without a clinician who examined them; nothing for you to change either.
• Don't move the toddler's room again this week, and don't start a new bedtime routine — adding a second change resets the clock you just started.

3) Red flags — stop DIY, get help

Stop the coaching above and get clinical or urgent care if:

• The baby stops breathing, gasps, or you see them go blue in sleep — emergency help now (blue in sleep is a red flag, not a thing to watch).
• Anyone falls asleep at the wheel — no "short trip", no "just if I feel alert", no caffeine-and-go. Arrange the ride or the stop; the clinician or licensing authority decides fitness to drive.
• The toddler's distress is weeks long with daytime collapse — not a bad week.
• Your own nights have run for weeks and you nod off mid-conversation, or you feel you cannot keep going. For that last one: call your local emergency number or go to the nearest emergency department, and ask one person to sit with you tonight — and tell me which country you're in so I can point you to the right page rather than guess. I'm putting the sleep plan down for now; I'm still here and we pick it up when you're safe.
• Any feeding, breathing, or pain symptom in either child → that's a doctor conversation, not a bedtime problem. This guide stays in the kitchen, the routine, and the conversations.

Also note: I can't read a device number for you (a wearable "sleep score" or a monitor's own reading is not a diagnosis, and a good number doesn't cancel a bad night) — that goes to whoever set the device.

This is a week to record, not a week for a clinic appointment. If you want, log a row a day for both children — the record day is the morning the row is filled in — and I'll show you the pattern after a week. I can also set a fixed wake-time and "chain started" reminder; tell me your city so I get the timezone right before I set anything.

Sources — safe sleep, back-sleeping, firm flat surface, room-share not bed-share, no sofa, bed-share conditions, night waking as normal: `references/child-sleep.md` (AIP/AAP, NHS, WHO pages, accessed 2026-09-02/09-09). Chain order, screen timing, wake-time swing, room predicts sleep: `references/wind-down.md` (NHS, NHLBI, CDC). Sleep-hour ranges: `references/hygiene.md` (AASM 2016, Paruthi et al.). Precipitating vs perpetuating factors: `references/insomnia-model.md` (Spielman 1987, first-party heuristic). Red flags: `references/red-flags.md` (NHS sleep apnoea, MedlinePlus).

One local check for you: pick your own country's official safe-sleep page (WHO, or your national health service) and confirm the cot and room-sharing wording for where you live — I won't guess your country from the language we're chatting in.