My mother-in-law keeps posting photos of
Ask
My mother-in-law keeps posting photos of our 2-year-old daughter on her public Facebook profile, even though we previously asked her not to. We have a strict family rule of no photos on public social media.
My husband agrees with this rule and is sending her a text today.
Can you provide:
1. An exact, speakable text message my husband can send his mom directly (who says it to whom first)?
2. A calm follow-up if she replies with hurt feelings or calls us paranoid?
3. A positive alternative (such as a private family photo stream)?
Answer
Husband → his mum, send today:
Mum, [daughter]'s photos don't go on public social media. Please take down the posts from this week. From now on, photos go in our private family album — I'll set up a shared album and send you the link, just us on it.
Why this line: one ask (take down + change channel), names the rule once, doesn't argue past photos, offers the next move in the same message. The "just us on it" line is the softener — it tells her she's not cut out, just moved in.
**If she replies hurt or "you're paranoid / overreacting":**
Hold the same line. Broken-record:
I hear you. The rule stays: no public posts of [daughter]. The private album is how we share with family.
If she goes further — "after all I've done", "I'm her grandmother", "you don't trust me" — repeat the same sentence once. Don't debate, don't justify, don't re-explain. The first line did the explaining; the second just holds it.
**The positive alternative (so it doesn't feel like a take-away):**
A shared family album only the parents + grandparents can see and post to. Three easy options — pick one:
- **Google Photos shared album** — free, she gets an email/link, she can add her own photos
- **iCloud Shared Album** — works the same if she's on iPhone
- **WhatsApp family group or dedicated album thread** — lowest friction if she already uses it
Husband sets it up, adds her, sends her the link in a short follow-up: *Here's the album. Add whatever you want there — we all see it. Thanks, Mum.* That gives her somewhere to keep sharing, just not publicly.
One thing worth doing today, before the text goes: have your husband also save screenshots of the public posts in question, with timestamps. Not to use as ammo — just so if it comes back later as "I never posted that" or "you never said anything", you both have the date.
Want me to tighten the first message shorter, or write it in another tone (warmer / more formal)?