We live in California, USA. I am a Senio
Ask
We live in California, USA.
I am a Senior Software Engineer at a tech company. Six months ago, my Director asked me to step in as "Interim Lead" for our 6-person team while they searched for a replacement manager.
For two quarters, I ran all sprints, 1-on-1s, and roadmap alignment while delivering full IC work. Last week, I learned the external requisition was quietly closed.
I have a 1-on-1 with my Director next Tuesday.
I want to resolve this: either formalize the Engineering Lead title and salary band adjustment by next Friday, or transition the coordination overhead back to leadership so I can return to 100% IC engineering.
1. What is the exact speakable opening sentence for the meeting that states this clearly with a firm written decision date?
2. If he stalls with: "We value your work, but budgets/promotions are frozen right now," what is my immediate spoken comeback?
3. Provide a side-by-side table for the ask versus stalled responses.
Answer
"For the last two quarters I've run sprints, 1-on-1s, and roadmap for our 6-person team while also carrying my full IC workload under the Interim Lead arrangement, and last week I learned the external req was closed. I need a written decision from you by Friday, September 25: either formalize the Engineering Lead title with the salary band adjustment, or hand the coordination back to leadership so I return to 100% IC. Which path are we taking?"
**If he stalls with "budgets/promotions are frozen right now":**
"Noted that budgets and promotions are frozen. Please give me the specific date the freeze lifts or gets reviewed, and confirm in writing that my request reopens that day. In the meantime, please confirm in writing that the role change is already reflected in my position — we can talk about the number when the freeze lifts."
**Ask vs. stalled responses — side by side:**
| Opening (Tuesday 1-on-1) | His stall | Your immediate comeback |
| --- | --- | --- |
| "For the last two quarters I've run sprints, 1-on-1s, and roadmap for our 6-person team while also carrying my full IC workload under the Interim Lead arrangement, and last week I learned the external req was closed. I need a written decision from you by Friday, September 25: either formalize the Engineering Lead title with the salary band adjustment, or hand the coordination back to leadership so I return to 100% IC. Which path are we taking?" | "Budgets/promotions are frozen." | "Noted the freeze. Please give me the specific date it lifts or gets reviewed, and confirm in writing that my request reopens that day. In the meantime, please confirm in writing that the role change is already reflected in my position — we can talk numbers when it lifts." |
| (same opening) | "Let's revisit next cycle/quarter." | "I can wait for the next cycle. Please put the cycle date and the material we'll discuss into a calendar invite, and confirm in writing that my request stays on the agenda that day rather than starting over." |
| (same opening) | "Let's loop in H on this." | "H is fine. Please forward my request by Friday, September 25 and copy me on the handover. Before you do, please state as the decision-maker: do you support, not support, or which document do you need from me." |
| (same opening) | "We really value your work / you're critical to the team." (reassurance) | "Thank you for the reassurance. I still need a yes or a no, and the date it takes effect. Please come back to the request itself: a written decision by Friday, September 25 on which path we take." |
A few practical notes for Tuesday: (1) the opening asks for a binary decision, not a number — let Path A or Path B be chosen first, then the band figure enters on the next pass; (2) ask for the answer in writing at the end of the meeting even if he says yes in the room, so a calendar invite, an updated job description, or a confirmation email is on the record by Friday; (3) if he tries to name a number that's only a cost-of-living adjustment, your reply is the same shape as the freeze comeback — "please confirm in writing that the band and title match the scope, not a COLA."