Baby latches while I sleep. How do we ke

The latch isn't the danger — the position you're in when you fall asleep is. You can't stay awake, and you can't stop being tired, so tonight's fix is to move the risk out of the bed and onto a rota of adults who are awake.

The two things working against you right now: she latches and you doze with her, and the propped bottle. Both need to change tonight, before anything else.

*(I also wrote this up as a one-pager in the household folder for the fridge: night-feed-safety-onepager-2026-11-07.)*

1. What you've tried vs. what to do instead

The rule your own safe-sleep page already carries: the feed happens in a chair; the sleep happens in the cot. If she falls asleep at the breast, that's fine — break the latch and move her.

If you already fell asleep with her in the bed on a recent night: when you wake, move her onto her back in her cot, note the time in the sleep log, and don't spend the next day blaming yourself. One adult asleep and one adult awake is the fix. That night was a symptom of the rota, not a personal failing.

2. Tonight's three blocks (25 min total)

① 5 min — Night-feed station + cot check. A chair (not the bed, not the sofa) in the baby's room. Water, a snack for you, burp cloth, sleep log and pen within reach. Light on dim, not off. Cot check: firm flat mattress, fitted sheet, her sleep sack — no duvet, no blanket, no pillow, no nest, no bumper, no anti-roll wedge, no toys. She goes down on her back, feet at the foot of the cot. She rolls onto her tummy and can't roll back yet, so turn her back each time you check — never build a barrier to stop her.

② 10 min — Write the block rota on the fridge. Two names, two slots, and this handover sentence:

> Baby sleeps on her back in her own cot, flat and empty. Whoever feels themselves drifting puts her down first, then feeds in the chair. Whoever is on the block wakes the other adult if she wakes twice.

Put the same sentence on the grandparents' door in their language — add the feed-in-a-chair line to the safe-sleep pact you already have with that house.

③ 10 min — Eat one warm meal and lock your 90 minutes. From what's already in the kitchen: rice or noodles, one protein (egg, tofu, fish, leftover meat), one vegetable, water. Same pot for everyone. Sit down and finish it. Then write your 90-minute protected sleep block (phone in another room, door closed, no errands, no messages).

Then one line in the sleep log, same as every night: date | put-downs | night wakings | longest stretch | notes.

3. Constraints and avoid list

Never again

• No bottle propped in the bed, in the cot, or left lying next to her.
• No feeding on the sofa or armchair — and don't settle there because it's "more comfortable". That's the surface where you fall asleep.
• No falling asleep with her in your bed; bed-sharing isn't the default here. No shared bed at all if anyone in the house smokes, drinks, or takes anything that makes them drowsy.
• Nothing in the cot except a fitted sheet and her sleep sack.
• No swaddling if she's trying to roll; nothing bought online to keep her on her back.
• White noise machine as far from the cot as the cord allows, no louder than talking, cord out of reach.
• No powders, teas, herbal drops or "sleep aids"; no medicines bought online; no change to any medicine without the prescriber — including anything for reflux, and anything for you.

House rules for everyone

• Own cot, same room as an adult, on her back, feet at the foot of the cot. Turn her back each check; don't build barriers.
• The 2-year-old and the elder have their own separate surfaces; nobody bed-shares with her.
• The grandparents' house follows the same rules, including the bottle rule.
• Don't cut or delay a feed to make her sleep longer — hunger shows up as more wakings, not fewer. Changes to how much she feeds are a question for the paediatrician or a lactation adviser.

4. Red flags — stop DIY and get help

Call the emergency number (Thailand medical emergency 1669) and don't drive yourself in, if:

• She stops breathing or pauses, won't wake up, goes blue or grey around lips or face, is limp or floppy, grunts or sucks her ribs in while breathing, has a seizure, can't finish a feed, or has a noticeably weaker cry.
• Repeated vomiting of green or yellow-green fluid, or a rash that doesn't fade when you press it.
• Fewer wet nappies than usual; floppy or hard to wake.
• You are bleeding heavily, faint, have chest pain or a severe headache with blurred vision, or have any thought of harming yourself or the baby.

This week at the clinic — don't wait on it: you already have a written record of a breathing pause episode and a sleep log. Take both and ask for a written plan for feeding position, night feeds and burping, and where she sleeps after each feed. If she's bottle-fed anything, ask how much and how often — don't change the amount yourself. Write these down first:

1. What exactly should bring us straight back tonight?
2. Is there anything about her feeding position or reflux at night that we should change at home?
3. Is she still safe to be settled on her back, and what do we do if she rolls onto her tummy?
4. What must we not give her at home?

5. Decision tree for the next feed tonight

```
Next feed comes
├─ You're sitting up and awake → feed in the chair
├─ You feel yourself drifting → put her on her back in her cot FIRST, then feed
├─ You need a bottle → an awake adult holds it; nothing stays in the bed
├─ You're on the sofa / in bed → get up. Move her to the cot before feeding
├─ You already fell asleep with her
│ └─ wake → move her onto her back in her cot → note the time → fix the rota, not yourself
└─ She's blue, limp, not breathing, or won't wake
└─ STOP. Call 1669 now. Nothing by mouth, don't shake, don't drive yourself.
```

6. Screenshots to send

To your partner:
> "I've been falling asleep with her at the breast and I don't want to keep doing that. I need one block where you're the awake adult and she stays in her cot — say 12 to 4. If she wakes twice, wake me and I'll take her in the chair."

To the elder or the sibling nearby:
> "Can you take one block this week — say Thursday 9pm to 1am? You don't have to feed her. Just be the awake adult in the room with her in her cot, and call me if she wakes twice. No bottle in the bed, and if she falls asleep in your arms, put her down on her back first."

To the grandparents' house:
> "Baby sleeps on her back, in her own flat empty cot, in the same room as an adult. No bottle in the bed, no sofa. If you drink or take anything that makes you sleepy, put her down first and don't hold her to sleep."

To the clinic:
> "She latches and I fall asleep during night feeds. We have one episode of breathing pauses written down, and I want it reviewed. I want a written plan for feeding position, night feeds and where she sleeps after each feed, and what should bring us back tonight. I am not changing any medicine at home."

To yourself, at 3am:
> "Put her down first, then feed. The rota, not my body, carries this night."

7. What success looks like in 24 hours

Not "no night wakings" — that isn't the goal and you can't force it. This is:

• Every feed tonight ends with her on her back in her own flat cot, nothing in it but a sheet.
• Zero bottles left in a bed; zero feeds on the sofa or in bed.
• One named block on the rota, and one protected 90-minute sleep block for you, written down.
• One line added to the sleep log.
• The clinic question list written down, ready this week.

Count the feeds that ended with her safely placed. That number is the progress — and each one is a night when your exhaustion didn't become a hazard.

What I couldn't check for you: her exact age in weeks, her weight, her feeding amounts, and whether she's had reflux symptoms or further episodes since the last record. Those are the clinician's to answer — bring the episode sheet and the sleep log.

*Home-care and communication guide only. It doesn't diagnose, doesn't change any medicine, and doesn't set any dose for the baby, for you, or for anyone else in the house. Breathing, reflux, growth, feeds and medicines belong to your paediatrician; the rota and the scripts are yours to decide.* Sources: NHS safer sleep / SIDS and co-sleeping guidance · AAP 2022 safe sleep recommendations · Lullott Trust safer-sleep notes · your household safe-sleep page, sleep log, same-room-different-bed card, grandparents' sleep pact, and breathing-episode record sheet. Emergency number checked against the local emergency table for Thailand this turn (1669).