Since having a baby I can't watch dark o

No profile was attached to this turn, so I'm working only from what you wrote: baby down at 19:30, Saturday movie night, streaming account + headphones at home, school-week caregiving plus one elder or sibling nearby.

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1. What you tried vs. what to try instead

Forcing yourself to keep watching to "seem normal" — that's the one I'd stop first. It costs the most and buys the least. Sitting through a murder scene while running on no sleep is a reliable way to end the evening wired, resentful, and still not actually relaxed. "Seeming normal" is a goal that only serves your partner's viewing preference.

Better alternatives, tonight, in order of least effort:

The scheduling move that works best in most homes like yours: two parallel tracks, no negotiation. Saturday 19:30 is your comfort show. The crime show is a separate, unscheduled thing — one catch-up episode, or a late slot once the baby sleeps through. Nobody has to give up the show; it just stops living in the one hour you share.

Headphones are the single best tool in the house right now. They turn a shared TV into two private viewings without anyone losing face. If you want to join in, watch with headphones and audio only, or sit in the same room on your own screen.

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2. Scripts to screenshot

To your partner, before tonight (no lecture, no evidence dump):

> "I know this is new for you since the baby's here. I'm not saying you can't watch them — I'm saying I can't do 7:30 anymore, and pretending otherwise is making both of us miserable. Give me a different hour and I'll say yes more often than you'd expect."

If they push back with "but we used to watch them together":

> "We did, and I still want time with you. I just can't do it with these shows right now. Name the hour you'd rather have me awake and present in, and we'll put that on the calendar."

The boundary version, repeat verbatim if it gets repeated back at you:

> "Saturday 7:30 is mine for something easy. The crime stuff can move to a different night."

If they say you're being irrational / dramatic:

> "I'm not arguing about whether it's reasonable. I'm telling you what I can watch, and I'm not going to keep pretending otherwise. Can we talk about a different hour instead?"

One thing worth naming out loud, once: you don't have to justify this with a reason. A new baby, no sleep, and being the one who drops off and picks up is reason enough. You don't need to win the argument about whether it's fair.

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3. Constraints and the avoid list

• Don't do any of these tonight: no arguing it *during* the show, no bringing up old examples of "when you didn't help with X," no explaining your whole history of stress in one speech. Pick the calm hour, not the show hour.
• Don't let it become a standing weekly grievance — that's how one bad Saturday becomes a month of quiet. State the schedule once, hold it, move on.
• Don't diagnose yourself. "Hormonal," "baby blues," "postpartum depression" are different things and only a clinician can sort out which (if any) applies. The sleep loss alone will change your threshold for stress, and that's not a character flaw.
• Don't take anything for this — no supplements, no prescriptions, no online buys. Nothing about a tired parent's reaction to crime TV needs a pill.
• Don't add load tonight. No new bedtime, no new feeding schedule, no big meals to cook. Food you already have is the right food tonight.
• Don't put the older kid or the elder in the middle of this. It's an adults' conversation about adults' screen habits.

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4. Decision tree for tonight

```
Is it before 19:30 and the baby is settled?
├─ Yes → Say the one-line schedule out loud (or text it).
│ Pick your comfort show now. Done.
└─ No / too tired to talk
→ Send the text later, or tomorrow. Not during the show.

Is the show on and you're not in it?
├─ Watching something else / headphones → fine, stay there.
└─ Sitting blank, resentful, waiting for it to end
→ Get up. Move rooms. A half-episode of
disengagement is worse than just leaving.

Do you want to join them tonight anyway?
├─ Yes, and you can pick → pick the comfort show. Together, easy.
└─ No, and you can say it → "I'm out tonight, tomorrow."
Both are allowed. Neither needs a reason.

Do you feel fine tomorrow?
├─ Yes → it's a scheduling problem. We fix the calendar.
└─ No, and it keeps being no → see red flags below.
```

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5. Red flags — when to stop DIY

This section is general, not a diagnosis. If any of these are true, contact your own clinician (GP, OB-GYN, midwife, health visitor) — and the first two need same-day contact, not a next-month appointment:

• You feel this strongly most days for two weeks or more, not just after a bad show
• You can't sleep even when the baby is asleep and someone else is covering, for two weeks or more
• You feel persistently numb, hopeless, or unable to feel anything at all — the opposite of the sensitivity you described
• You have intrusive thoughts, or thoughts that frighten you, or you feel detached from the baby
• You feel confused, extremely agitated, or racing in a way you can't settle
• You feel unsafe with yourself, or have any thought of harming yourself or the baby

If you ever reach that last one, don't wait for a scheduled appointment — contact emergency services or your local urgent mental health line. If you're in Thailand, the hotline below is free and 24/7.

I'm not able to give you a number I haven't verified this turn, so please use your local emergency number or the mental health hotline listed on your nearest hospital's or health authority's website. A midwife, OB, or health visitor visit is also a reasonable first call, and you don't need to be sure it counts as "bad enough" to make it legitimate.

Worth saying plainly: this sensitivity is a known and common experience after a birth, and it's a legitimate thing to change your routine about. You're not being dramatic and you don't need to prove it. But if the low mood outlives the schedule problem, that's a separate conversation — and one worth having with a professional, not with yourself at 22:00.

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What success looks like in 24 hours

Not "the tension is gone." Just this:

1. The 19:30 hour is scheduled. Yours is something easy. That exists on a calendar, not in your head.
2. You've said the thing out loud once, in one or two sentences, and repeated it once if it was pushed back on.
3. You've watched something you actually wanted, or sat in another room — without it costing you the evening.
4. You know one number to call or one appointment to make, if tomorrow still feels flat.

That's it. No cure, no explanation owed to anyone.

Tonight's minimum: put on headphones, pick one thing from your comfort list, and let Saturday 7:30 be yours. Send the text tomorrow, not tonight.