My 11-year-old eats only a handful of fo

Tonight's whole job is small: keep every food she already eats, put one new food next to it on the same plate, don't push the bite — and book the Monday appointment today. That is the whole plan; nothing else has to change tonight.

(Everything below is general home-care guidance, not a diagnosis, and not a substitute for her paediatrician. The clock times — 5-minute blocks, 20-minute meals — are practical household estimates I set for a busy week, not measured medical thresholds.)

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1. What you've already tried → what to do instead

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2. Tonight and tomorrow — about 20 minutes of your work

Block A (5 min) — the same-plate rule

• Put her familiar foods on her plate as usual, in her usual portion.
• Add one new food — something you already cook for the rest of the family, not something new to buy. Small portion, on the same plate, not hidden in rice, not mixed.
• "No thanks" is a complete answer. Repeat it back: *"Okay. Same plate next time."*

Block B (5 min) — the 20-minute window

• Three fixed meals, same times, plus one planned snack. Water before the meal, not juice.
• Everyone eats together where you can; leftovers go in the fridge, not into a second round of negotiation.

Block C (5 min) — split the adults

• One adult hosts the meal and says nothing about food.
• The other adult, the elder, and any older sibling follow the two scripts below.
• This is the single biggest lever: one less voice at the table.

Block D (5 min) — start the one-page log

• For each meal: what she ate, what she only touched, what she refused; tick whether any new food went in her mouth; tick whether anyone pushed.
• Add weight and height if you have them, and note whether clothes have gotten looser.
• (The printable log and the Monday visit page are in your shared files — "child-food-log-onepager" and "child-appetite-visit-sheet" — one page each, no buying anything.)

Scripts — copy these word for word

To her: *"This is the same as always, plus one new thing. You can say no, and no one will count your bites or comment on your plate."*

To the elder / older sibling / partner: *"Please don't comment on what she eats or offer her anything as a reward or treat. If she says no, just say okay and move on. That's the rule this week."*

To school (only if it comes up): *"She eats these foods reliably and these she won't. Please offer, don't push, and don't make it a deal. Thank you."*

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3. What "success in 24 hours" actually looks like

Realistic and achievable:

• No tears, no arguments, no bargaining at any meal today.
• She eats her familiar foods as usual — nothing taken away.
• At least one new food touched or tasted once without a fight (touching counts; eating it is not the goal).
• The log has three meals filled in.

Not success in 24 hours: eating a new food, eating more, or a change in weight. This is a slow build; you're measuring calmness and exposure, not intake.

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4. Red flags — when to stop DIY

🔴 Go now / emergency
Breathing difficulty, wheezing, swelling of the lips, tongue or face, a hoarse voice, collapse or fainting, she can't be roused, or severe belly pain with vomiting after eating.
→ Call your local emergency services now and go to the nearest emergency department — don't wait for Monday.

🟠 Same day — contact the clinic today (or urgent care)

• Repeated vomiting, or she can't keep fluids down, or signs of dehydration (hours without urine, sunken eyes, no tears)
• Persistent belly pain, or blood in the stool
• Fever plus refusing most food
• Noticeably more tired, pale, or withdrawn than usual
• Marked thirst, peeing a lot through the night, blurred vision, or weight loss
• One whole food group refused for weeks (e.g. no fruit *or* no vegetables *or* no protein at all)

🟡 This week — the Monday appointment you asked for
Bring: the one-week food log, last known weight/height and whether clothes are looser, all medicines and supplements, known allergies and any past reaction to a food.
Ask:

1. *"With her growth curve, is this selective eating we can work on at home, or is something worth testing?"*
2. *"Would you check bloods (iron, thyroid, coeliac) and refer us to a paediatric dietitian?"*
3. *"Which changes should bring us straight back in?"*

🟢 Home, keep the routine 1–2 weeks
Mild tiredness, an occasional tummy ache, no weight change, safe foods still working → carry on with the same-plate rule and bring the log to Monday.

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5. Constraints and the avoid list

• Don't restrict her current foods to "force" variety — that shrinks the safe list.
• Don't buy anything new for this (no powders, no "kids" products, no supplements, no protein or multivitamin mixes) — raise it with the doctor instead.
• Don't order prescription products or medicines online, and don't start or change any medicine, supplement or dose at home — that's the paediatrician's and pharmacist's call.
• Don't make food a reward, a punishment, or a family negotiation.
• Don't compare her to siblings, cousins or classmates.
• Don't let a new food be a shopping trip — pick what you already cook.
• Don't keep the plate as a battlefield past 20 minutes.
• Don't chase a single new food repeatedly in one week; one new food per meal, then rotate others.

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One sentence to remember: you are not fixing a stubborn child this week — you are removing the fight, keeping her food safe, and bringing good information to Monday. If even one of the red-flag signs shows up, everything above stops and you call for help.