Dad's personality has changed a lot—how

I'll read the relevant clinical cards first, then prepare the answer for Wednesday's GP visit.

Let me check the working directory and the validation script before drafting.

Now I have what I need. Let me draft the response.

The validator passed. Now outputting the full drafted answer:

What to do before Wednesday 11:15 GP appointment — dad, FTD vs Alzheimer's, and the brother fight

The single most useful thing this week is not a Google result — it's a one-page timeline of dad's changes sitting on the kitchen table before Wednesday. The GP cannot diagnose frontotemporal dementia (FTD) vs Alzheimer's vs a treatable mimic from your brother arguing across the table; what the GP can do is hear a clear pattern, see the medicine list, and route you to the right specialist. Until the appointment, your job is not to solve FTD vs Alzheimer's at home — your job is to walk in with the pattern, the medicines, and three focused questions. That is what section (1) is for. Section (3) lists the small number of changes that mean stop waiting for Wednesday and call your local emergency number now — these are rare, but if they happen, they happen fast.

A quick answer to your headline question, so you and your brother are on the same page before the call: FTD and Alzheimer's are different on purpose, not in name only. FTD usually changes personality, behaviour, judgment, or language first — and memory often looks normal in the early years, which is why families say "his memory is fine, it's his personality that's gone." Alzheimer's usually changes recent memory first, with personality changes coming later. Neither of you can tell which one it is from the internet or from each other — that takes a clinician, usually a memory clinic or neurologist, sometimes with brain imaging and a longer cognitive work-up. The GP on Wednesday is the door to that, not the diagnosis itself.

(1) What you've already tried vs what actually moves the needle

(2) Don't do / Avoid

• Don't argue with your brother about which diagnosis is right before Wednesday. Both of you are guessing. Channel the disagreement into "we both go into the appointment with the same pattern and the same three questions."
• Don't search "FTD vs Alzheimer's life expectancy" tonight. The honest answer is "it depends, and depends on which one and at what age and what other conditions" — reading worst-case numbers does not prepare you, it just makes the next 48 hours worse.
• Don't change, stop, halve, restart, or "try" any of dad's medicines based on what you read online. Medication changes in an older adult with cognitive change are a clinician decision with the full list in front of them.
• Don't put dad on a "dementia diet," supplement stack, coconut oil, turmeric megadose, or any "brain protocol" you saw on social media. None of these have evidence as treatments; some interact with blood thinners, blood pressure tablets, or diabetes medicines that dad may be on.
• Don't make dad the audience for the family argument. If you and your brother can't agree, have that conversation on a walk or after dad's in bed — not in front of him, not at the dinner table, not on speakerphone with him in the room.
• Don't push dad to "prove" he's fine with memory quizzes, multi-step tasks, or "do you remember who this is." Practice effects don't help the diagnosis and erode his trust in you.
• Don't hide the GP appointment from dad or stage it as something else long-term. He needs to know it's happening; the framing just needs to be gentle.
• Don't let dad drive until the GP has weighed in. Behavioural disinhibition in FTD and slowed reactions in early Alzheimer's both raise road risk. Park the keys, offer to drive, and tell dad it's "until the GP clears you" — temporary, not permanent.
• Don't take "his memory is fine" as reassurance. In FTD, memory often is fine in the early years. The story you're seeing (personality, judgement, language, behaviour) is the story that matters.
• Don't take "we all forget things as we get older" from relatives as the final word. Steady drift over months, plus a change in personality or judgement, is not normal ageing. It's a reason to be seen.
• Don't promise dad a specific outcome. "It's nothing," "you'll be fine," and "we're going to fix this" all backfire when the GP is honest about what's likely. The honest frame is: "we're going to find out what's causing this and what to do about it."
• Don't try to be the GP yourself by collecting symptoms from the family group chat. One shared note, dated, calm, is what the clinician needs; a noisy chat is what the family needs to vent. Keep them separate.
• Don't book a private brain scan on your own before the GP. Imaging is part of the work-up but the order matters — blood tests and a medicine review come first because they rule out reversible causes that don't need a scan.

(3) Red flags — stop DIY and call your local emergency number now

If any of these happens before Wednesday, call your local emergency number right away (and say: "older person, sudden change in behaviour / consciousness / falls / not eating"). Do not wait for the GP appointment:

• Sudden worsening over hours or a day — not a steady drift, but a step-change. Suggests delirium (infection, medicine effect, stroke, low sugar) layered on top, not "the dementia getting worse."
• New confusion, drowsiness, or not making sense when previously oriented. Even if dad already has some cognitive change, a *new* muddling is not "more of the same."
• A fall — any fall. In an older person with cognitive change, a fall is a warning that the next one could be a hip fracture, a head injury, or a bleed. Head strike + blood thinner = emergency department now.
• Refusing food or drink for more than a day, or visibly losing weight in weeks. Both dehydration and malnutrition look like "the dementia getting worse" but are treatable.
• Sudden weakness on one side, slurred speech, a face that has dropped, or a new vision change. Stroke is one of the things the GP is trying to rule out.
• A first-time seizure, or shaking that looks like a fit.
• Aggression that risks harm — to dad, to a family member, or to a pet. Behavioural crises in FTD are real; this is one of the few times the GP's office is not the door, the emergency department is.
• Talking about not wanting to live, giving things away, or saying goodbye in a way that's out of character. Suicide risk rises in early dementia and in FTD; take it literally, don't argue with it, don't leave him alone.
• Wandering out of the house and not finding the way back, especially at night. This is a safety event, not a "sleep problem."
• Leaving the stove on, the tap running, the front door open in a way that's new — these are the everyday dangers that turn into house fires or floods.
• A new medicine started in the last 4–6 weeks plus any of the above. Three or more new medicines is a known precipitant of sudden confusion in older adults.

If dad has a written advance care plan or DNACPR decision, keep it with his medicine list and take it to the emergency department with him.

What "success" looks like in 24 hours — without promising a cure

• Tonight: One shared note exists with dated observations from everyone in the house. The full medicine list (with boxes or photos) is in one bag, ready to grab. You and your brother have agreed on three questions for the GP (suggested below). Dad is not driving.
• By Tuesday night: The GP's office has been called to confirm the appointment length, mention "memory/behaviour changes," and ask whether blood tests can be done the same morning so the results are in by 11:15. (If the receptionist asks why, "he's been more confused / different in personality lately" is enough.)
• Wednesday at 11:15: The GP hears a clear pattern, sees the medicine list, and decides one of three paths — (a) blood tests + cognitive screen + follow-up in 4–6 weeks, (b) referral to a memory clinic or neurologist, (c) urgent route if something else is suspected. You walk out knowing which.
• 24 hours after the appointment: A follow-up slot is on the calendar. The argument with your brother is paused — not resolved, but parked — because there's a plan on paper.

Three questions for the GP (suggested — keep to three)

1. "Could any of his current medicines be causing or worsening this?" The GP can do a structured medicine review on the spot. This question often surfaces the reversible mimic.
2. "What blood tests do we do now to rule out the reversible causes — B12, thyroid, folate, kidney, liver, glucose, infection, anything else?" Most reversible mimics are caught with one or two vials of blood.
3. "Who do we see next — do you refer to a memory clinic / neurologist / geriatrician, and what's the rough waiting time here? If the wait is long, is there anything we should start in the meantime?" This turns "wait and see" into "wait with a name attached."

If the GP uses the word "dementia" in any form, the next sentence out of your mouth is: "Which type are you thinking, and what makes you think that one rather than the others?" That's not a challenge — that's the conversation that leads to the right referral.

What to bring to the appointment (one bag, by the door Tuesday night)

• The one-page timeline of changes (date + what you noticed + who noticed it). Example: "Mar 2026 — stopped going to his walking group. Apr — left the stove on twice. May — said something rude to a grandchild he'd never have said before." Dates don't need to be exact; "around Easter" is fine.
• Every medicine in its actual box, including over-the-counter, herbal, and "occasional" pills. Bring them, don't write them down.
• Hearing aids and glasses. A person who can't hear or see the GP can't be properly assessed.
• A short list of dad's other medical conditions (high blood pressure, diabetes, prior stroke, sleep apnoea, depression — whatever applies).
• A list of any recent falls, even minor ones, and any head knocks in the last year.
• A note of when dad last had blood tests, and what was checked.
• Your own three questions, written down so you don't lose them in the moment.
• If your brother is on the call, a shared mute button — speakerphone the call so brother can listen without dad hearing him disagree.

A note on the brother argument

The argument is not really about FTD vs Alzheimer's. It's about who's responsible, who's noticed what, who's "doing something," and what this means for the next five years. That argument is real and it deserves air time — just not in front of dad and not before the appointment. After Wednesday, when there's a plan on paper, the disagreement usually shrinks because there's something concrete to disagree *about* instead of something vague to disagree *into*. If the argument keeps going after the appointment, that's a family-talk conversation, not a medical one — bring it up separately, with one of you writing down the other being heard. The brother who feels heard usually stops needing to win.

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This is a guide to preparing for a clinical conversation, not a diagnosis. What dad "has" is a question for Wednesday's GP and, if needed, the memory clinic or neurologist they refer to. Your job this week is the timeline, the medicine list, and three calm questions — not the answer.