My menopause doctor suggested testostero

Now writing the draft.

Do not use that man's tube or your partner's prescription again — and don't decide anything about stopping it yourself. Put every testosterone tube in one bag tonight, and on Thursday ask your menopause clinician three things: is testosterone right for me, do I need a baseline blood test first, and what exactly should I be using and checking. That is the whole job for this week.

This is not a diagnosis and not a prescription. I can't choose your product, your amount, or your timing — only your prescriber or pharmacist can.

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1. What has been tried, and what is the safer route

Already tried: a man's product or your partner's prescription. NHS Highland's menopause guideline is blunt about why that isn't a safe substitute: there is currently no testosterone product licensed for female use in the UK, so any woman uses one licensed for men, off-label, chosen and monitored by a specialist — and the same guideline specifically flags that some men's gel pumps are too concentrated to be suitable for a woman at all. A borrowed tube is not "a small dose"; it is someone else's prescription, at a strength and schedule picked for a different body, with no monitoring plan behind it. Please tell the doctor exactly what you used, when, and how often — don't be embarrassed, it changes how they read your blood test and your plan. Do not repeat it, and do not change or "correct" anything on your own.

Before or alongside a prescription, the things with real evidence (same guideline, and the NHS menopause treatment page):

• Make sure the other causes have been looked at first: relationship strain, pain during sex, stress and low mood, and side effects from other medicines — including some antidepressants. This is the step most often skipped, and it is the one that costs nothing but a conversation.
• Your existing HRT stays central; oestrogen deficiency is treated first, sometimes with vaginal oestrogen if dryness is part of the picture, and switching to transdermal oestrogen can help sexual desire.
• NHS notes many reasons for low libido around menopause — how you feel about yourself counts as one of them, so saying it out loud on Thursday is medically sensible, not emotional.

Home levers that are real but modest: sleep protection, a shared load with your husband so you are not carrying the school week alone, and comfort for dryness (a plain unscented moisturiser and a lubricant — and tell her, because vaginal oestrogen may be an option she discusses). Nothing in the kitchen raises testosterone, and no powder will fix this: herbal products sold for menopause have very little evidence behind them and can interfere with your other medicines.

Timing you should know before you start: the guideline says a clinical response can take up to 3 months, and if there has been no improvement at 6 months the treatment should be stopped. So a plan is a months-long project, not a weekend.

2. Constraints — the things not to do

• Do not use a man's product, a borrowed prescription, or anything bought online for this purpose.
• Do not start, stop, or change your existing tablets — your thyroid tablet, your blood-pressure tablet, your HRT — because of this. Take them exactly as you already do.
• Do not start, stop, change the amount of, or reschedule the testosterone yourself, and do not make up a missed application by using more.
• Do not let the number on a tube, a website, or a friend decide anything. Follow only the label on the product your prescriber names, or their written instructions.
• If gel is prescribed: apply it thinly to clean, dry, unbroken skin, let it dry before dressing, wash your hands straight after, and keep it away from children and from your partner's skin until dry. Different products differ, so the leaflet for your exact product wins.
• Expect to be asked about everything in the house, supplements included — write the names down rather than remembering in the room.
• A home blood-pressure reading is for the notes, not for changing anything.

3. Tonight and tomorrow, about 25 minutes

1. One bag, by the door. Every testosterone tube or box, including the borrowed one, plus your HRT, thyroid and blood-pressure boxes, and any supplement. This is the single most useful thing you can hand her.
2. Three lines on paper: which product, how often, when you last used it. No doses needed — just the names and dates.
3. Thursday question list (below) — in your language, so you can read it again.
4. Calendar: the 3-month recheck and the 6-month "is it working?" review.
5. Hand one job over tonight: "Nothing about my tablets changes tomorrow. The list is my job; the school run is yours."

What Thursday should leave you with, in writing: which exact product, how to use it, what to do if you miss a day, when the first blood test happens, the next review date, and the number to call if you feel unwell.

Questions to ask (copy this)

1. Given my age, my blood-pressure tablet, my thyroid tablet and my history — is testosterone right for me, and what benefit am I most likely to notice?
2. Which exact product, and is it licensed for a woman or used off-label? Can you write the plan down: which product, how often, how much, where, and what to do if I miss a day?
3. Do I need a baseline testosterone blood test before I start, and when? Do you want me to skip the gel before the blood test, and is there a time of day you prefer?
4. When do you recheck, and at what result would you reduce or stop it?
5. Should my thyroid blood test — and a blood count or cholesterol — be repeated at the same draw?
6. Which side effects should I ring you about, and which can wait for the next review?
7. If it hasn't helped by 3 or 6 months, what is the plan to stop?

On the blood tests (guideline): testosterone is checked before starting to set a baseline and to be sure it is not already at the top of the female range; rechecked 2–3 months after starting, then yearly with your annual HRT review, which also covers blood pressure and risk. It can read falsely high if the gel was applied recently — which is why the guidance tells women to omit the dose before the test. Only do that on your prescriber's instruction. Oestrogen levels are not monitored for this. If the result comes back above the female range, the prescriber reduces how often it is used and re-tests — that is their call, not yours to pre-empt.

4. Red flags and the decision tree

Your realistic win in the next 24 hours is not a different sex drive. It is: every product in one bag, the borrowed tube out of use, a written plan and question list, a booked baseline test, and one job handed to someone else so you sleep.

Sources checked 22 Oct 2026: NHS, "Treatment for menopause and perimenopause" (nhs.uk, page last reviewed May 2026), and Right Decisions / NHS Highland, "Testosterone replacement in menopausal women (Guidelines)". Product availability and licensing rules differ by country — your own prescriber and local regulator decide yours.