Dad is coming home after a stroke—how do

Two things before 2 pm today: write the meeting questions below on the notepad, and tonight walk the bathroom path with a phone light — that's the gap you already spotted.

1. What you've already done vs what to change before Friday

Before Friday, also clear:

• A chair with arms in the living room and one in the bedroom — arms help him stand without pulling on you.
• A clear 90 cm / 36-inch path from bed to bathroom. No rugs to trip on. Tape down any loose carpet edges.
• Phone charger within reach of the bed. A charged mobile or medicalert on his wrist.
• A list of emergency numbers by the bed and saved in his phone: local emergency services, the discharge clinic number, the after-hours nurse line, one family contact, one neighbour.
• Kitchen: kettle, mug, plate, glass at waist height — no high shelves, no bending to low cupboards.
• One soft-meal option already in the fridge for Friday dinner (soup, porridge, scrambled eggs, banana, well-cooked veg) in case the team flags a swallowing check.

2. The 14:00 meeting — your question list, write it down now

Bring: the notepad, the pill organizer (still empty), the list of what you've already set up at home, and the Stroke Log you started today.

Ask the discharge team:

• Walking: alone / with cane / with walker / with a person beside him? Any stairs allowed?
• Bathroom: alone, with supervision, or with hands-on help? Any equipment beyond the shower chair?
• Blood thinner: is he on one? If yes — what are the signs of bleeding I should watch for, and what's the plan if he falls or bumps his head?
• Swallowing: has he been assessed? Any food textures to avoid, or liquids that need thickening? (Choking on water is a common post-stroke risk.)
• Driving: restricted, for how long?
• Mood: what should I do if he becomes suddenly tearful, angry, or withdraws? (Mood shifts after a stroke are common — not a character flaw, and not yours to fix alone.)
• Red flags for me: which symptoms mean "call the clinic" and which mean "call emergency services right now"?
• Follow-up: first appointment, with whom, and the schedule for the next 30 days.
• Home therapy: does PT/OT/Speech continue at home, and who do I call to book or change?
• Day-to-day questions: sleep position, lifting limit (if any), bathing alone or assisted, what to do if a pill is missed, what to do if a pill is vomited back up.
• Weekend/evening contact: who do I call at 9 pm on a Saturday if something worries me?

Write the answers down verbatim. Don't leave with "we'll email you" — ask for the printed sheet and a phone number for the discharge coordinator.

3. Friday arrival and the first 24 hours

Success in 24 hours looks like:

• One safe round-trip to the bathroom at night, no fall.
• Every prescribed pill taken on time, in the right slot, for 24 hours.
• One calm meal finished without choking or aspiration coughing.
• One short visit or activity (15–30 min), then a real rest — not pushed to "feel normal".
• One handoff conversation with the other adult in the house: what went well, what didn't, what to watch tonight.
• The Stroke Log has a line for every med, meal, and bathroom trip.

Friday arrival routine:

• Bring him straight to the downstairs bedroom. Don't host a party on day one.
• Confirm he can reach from bed: water, phone, glasses, the Stroke Log, a call button or bell.
• One short walk to the bathroom and back with the person who'll be on night duty.
• First meal: simple, soft, familiar food he likes — soup, scrambled eggs, porridge, banana, well-cooked veg. Avoid thin liquids if the team flagged swallowing risk; sip from a cup, not a straw.
• Lights, blinds, temperature. Then rest.

4. Daily routine template (copy, adjust to the discharge sheet)

Morning

• Wake, wash face, brush teeth (sitting if balance is shaky).
• Morning meds — exactly as on the discharge sheet, double-checked from the organizer.
• Breakfast (soft if swallowing was flagged).
• Short visit or activity, then rest.

Midday

• Midday meds.
• Lunch (soft if needed). One glass of water with the meal.
• Bathroom trip planned before the urge is urgent — every 2–3 hours during the day; less rushing, fewer accidents.
• Short walk or prescribed exercises.
• Rest.

Afternoon

• Quiet activity, family visit, or nap.
• One screen-free hour before evening.

Evening

• Evening meds.
• Dinner (soft if needed).
• Bathroom trip before settling.
• Stroke Log filled in for the day.

Night

• Night meds (if any).
• Bathroom trip with night lights on the agreed path.
• Door cracked; phone within reach; fall sensor or bell if you have one.

5. Avoid — the do-not list

• Don't fill the pill organizer before the meeting. Wait for the discharge sheet.
• Don't add herbal supplements, "stroke recovery" powders, or anything bought online. Many interact with blood thinners and stroke meds. Anything new goes through the team first.
• Don't share his prescription, don't use leftovers, don't double a missed dose from this card. A missed dose is a call to the clinic, not a make-up at home.
• Don't let him cook at the stove, use the oven, or boil the kettle alone for the first weeks — fatigue and one-sided weakness plus a hot surface is a burn risk.
• Don't let him drive until the team clears it.
• Don't push rehab past the plan. No "tough it out", no "walk it off". The PT/OT instructions are the cap.
• Don't skip follow-up appointments because he "feels fine" — many post-stroke problems are silent (BP, AFib, depression).
• Don't move heavy furniture or lift him by the arms. If he falls, see the red-flag list before you lift.
• Don't smoke or drink alcohol around him — both raise stroke recurrence risk and interact with most stroke meds.
• Don't host big family events the first week. Recovery fatigue is real; one or two visitors at a time, short visits.

6. Red flags — when DIY ends and a clinician starts

Call local emergency services now if any of these appear. These are signs of a possible second stroke, bleeding, or a serious complication — not a "wait and see":

• Sudden weakness or numbness on one side — face droop, arm drift, leg gives way. The home check: ask him to smile (does one corner lag?) and to hold both arms up for 10 seconds (does one drift down?).
• Sudden slurred speech, can't find words, or can't understand you.
• Sudden loss of vision in one or both eyes, or new double vision.
• Sudden severe headache with no known cause — "the worst of his life, peaked in seconds."
• Sudden loss of balance or coordination, can't walk a straight line.
• A fall with a head strike — especially if he is on a blood thinner. This is an emergency, not a bruise to watch.
• A seizure, even one short one.
• Chest pain, pressure, or new shortness of breath.
• Vomiting that won't stop, or any blood in vomit or stool.
• One pupil noticeably larger than the other.
• Sudden confusion, can't recognise family or familiar places, or a sudden drop in alertness.
• High fever with a new cough or choking on meals — could be aspiration pneumonia.
• Time the team needs first: the last time he was seen completely well. Write it down before you call. Don't say "an hour ago" — give the clock time.

Tell the dispatcher, in this order:

1. "Last seen completely well at __:__."
2. "Now: face / arm / speech / vision / balance / headache" — whatever is wrong now.
3. "He is on [name of blood thinner if any] / has [diabetes / AFib / other]."
4. Your address.

Call the discharge clinic / after-hours line the same day for:

• New or worsening trouble swallowing, coughing or choking during meals.
• A fall without a head strike and no new weakness.
• A missed dose of any prescribed medicine.
• A new bruise without a clear cause, bleeding gums, a nosebleed lasting more than 10 minutes, blood in urine or stool — if he is on a blood thinner, this is the same-day line, not a "wait for the appointment".
• A fever (could be aspiration pneumonia, urinary infection, or a wound — common after a stroke).
• A new severe headache that doesn't match the pattern the team described.
• Mood change that worries you — new tearfulness, withdrawal, refusal to eat, talk of giving up.

7. Communication scripts (copy and adapt)

Morning check-in (2 min, sit at eye level):
"Hi Dad. How did you sleep? Any pain or stiffness? Let's look at the day plan together. Morning meds first, then breakfast."

After-meal check:
"How was the meal — anything hard to swallow, anything that caught in your throat? Let's sit up a bit longer before lying down."

Bathroom handoff (give dignity, don't hover):
"I'm right outside the door if you need me. The light's on, the chair's in place. Call out if anything feels off."

When he's frustrated or low:
"This is a hard day, and what you're feeling is real. I'm going to call the clinic and ask about it — it's common after a stroke, and there are ways to help."

To another family member at handoff:
"Here's today's log. Two meds on time, breakfast half-eaten, no falls, mood low after the visit — that's what to watch tonight."

To the discharge clinic, calling about a concern:
"This is [name], I'm the caregiver for [dad]. He came home Friday after a stroke. The concern is [one sentence]. The discharge sheet says [what it says]. When can he be seen, or should we go in tonight?"

One thing to know before Friday

Which one deficit has the team flagged as the biggest risk at home — walking, swallowing, mood, or memory? That's the lever the rest of the routine protects. Tell me which one and I'll sharpen the day around it.