How can I tell if a family member is jus

Now I'll write the draft answer.

Check her right now: can you wake her and get a clear answer, and are her breaths normal and steady? If she cannot be woken, is only gasping, has a fit, or is breathing slowly or irregularly, call your local emergency number now, and turn her onto her side while you are on the phone.

The dangerous part of a night like this is rarely the drink itself. Alcohol dulls the part of the brain that keeps the airway protected, so the real risks are that she vomits in her sleep and it goes into her lungs, that her breathing slows or stops, or that something else is going on that the drink is hiding. Two things decide the night — whether she can be woken, and whether she is breathing normally. I cannot see from here which of those is true, so please check and tell me. I also cannot diagnose this from here: a clinician has to decide what it is, and my job is to tell you which signs mean "call now" and what to do in the next fifteen minutes.

What you have already tried, and what to do instead

The next fifteen minutes — no cooking, no shopping

1. Position. Turn her onto her side. Put a pillow along her back so she stays turned. Blanket on. Head tilted slightly back so the airway stays open.
2. Breathing. Watch her chest. Normal is a steady rise and fall, quiet, no effort. Look again every time you check on her.
3. Quiet room, dim light, no more alcohol. Move the bottles out of reach if you can do it without waking her into a fall. Keep her keys with you.
4. Only if she is fully awake and swallowing normally — small sips of water, then something plain from the kitchen (toast, rice, soup, a banana) once the nausea settles. Give nothing by mouth if she is drowsy, confused, or not fully awake.
5. If she has diabetes and her own meter, you may check her sugar only if she is fully awake and swallowing safely — a low reading explains confusion better than the drink does. If she is not fully awake, give nothing by mouth.
6. Write down three things: the time of her last drink, the time she was last speaking normally, and every medicine she takes. Put the packets in a bag by the door.
7. Someone should stay awake with her. If you are alone, ask a neighbour or a relative to come sit for an hour so you can sleep. That single hour of real sleep is the most protective thing you can do for her tonight.

The decision tree

Can you wake her and get a clear answer?

• No → emergency care now. Call your local emergency number.
• Yes → go to breathing.

Are her breaths normal and steady?

• No — only gasping, panting, slow, or irregular → emergency care now. Gasping is not "still breathing", and you should not wait to be sure: call, and let the dispatcher decide.
• Yes → go on.

Is she vomiting?

• Vomiting but awake → sit her up, keep her turned to the side, and have a bowl and towel ready.
• Vomiting while she barely responds → emergency care now.

Any fit, or jerking that goes on?

• Yes → emergency care now.

Blue or grey lips, very pale mottled skin, cold and clammy skin?

• Yes → emergency care now.

Has she been drinking heavily for days and has now stopped — with shaking hands, sweating, severe confusion, or seeing things that are not there?

• Yes → emergency care now. That pattern is alcohol withdrawal rather than a hangover, and it is not something to sit out at home.

Could the drink have been anything other than ordinary alcohol — methylated spirits, antifreeze, windscreen washer, hand gel — or is she very drunk with no smell of alcohol at all?

• Yes, or you are not sure → emergency care now, and ask for the poison centre as well. Some alcohols injure the brain and the eyes hours later, so a quiet hour is not a safe hour.

Did she fall, hit her head, or was she unwell (fever, chest pain, stomach pain) before the drinking started?

• Yes → do not let the drink be the explanation for confusion or drowsiness; she needs to be assessed.

Is she older?

• Serious illness in an older person often arrives without the classic sign — no fever, no obvious chest pain, just a change from how she normally is. A change from her normal self is the red flag, even when nothing else looks dramatic.

If you do call

Put the phone on speaker and follow the dispatcher exactly. Say: an adult woman, she has been drinking, she went to sleep around [time], she [can / cannot] be woken, her breathing is [normal / irregular], her last drink was around [time], she takes [medicines], and I am not sure whether she fell. Then turn her onto her side, keep watching her chest, leave the door unlocked, and send someone to meet the crew.

What to avoid

• Do not leave her lying flat on her back.
• Do not put food, drink, or medicine into the mouth of someone who is drowsy or not fully awake.
• Do not make her vomit, and do not give charcoal at home.
• Do not give extra tablets, someone else's medicine, or a leftover "sober-up" pill.
• Do not run a home detox or a taper plan on your own.
• Do not use coffee, a cold shower, or sleep to "sober her up" — none of that changes the alcohol in her blood.
• Do not let her drive, and do not let her spend tonight alone if she has been drinking heavily.

Words you can use

• To her, if she wakes: "I'm not leaving you. I'm going to keep checking that you are breathing. If you feel sick, say so and I will turn you onto your side."
• To a neighbour or relative: "Could you come and sit with her for an hour, please? She has been drinking and keeps falling asleep, and I need to sleep. If she does not wake when you speak to her, or her breathing changes, call an ambulance."
• To the dispatcher: the script above, in your own words.
• To her in the morning: "Last night I was frightened that you would not wake up. I am not angry. I want to talk about the drinking with you, and I would rather do that with help than at three in the morning."

What success looks like in the next 24 hours

Not a cure — a safe night and a clear next step. Success is: she wakes and answers; her breathing stays steady all night; no fit; no vomiting while she is unresponsive; no confusion or seeing things. If all of that holds, then in the morning she has plain food, water, and a booked appointment with a clinician to talk about how much she drinks — because if she drinks heavily every day, stopping on her own carries its own medical risk, and that is a conversation with a professional rather than a home plan. If any warning sign above appears at any hour, the success is not "we handled it at home" — the success is help arriving fast.

Two things I need from you

1. Can you wake her and get a clear answer, and are her breaths normal and steady? That single answer decides the night.
2. Which country or city are you in? There is no coverage of your local emergency and poison-centre numbers on my side until you name the place, and I will not guess a number from your language — name it and I will give you the verified ones to keep by the phone.