I woke to my 12-week-old stiff and unabl

Call your local emergency number now and follow the dispatcher's advice — or go straight to the nearest children's emergency department now. A 12-week-old who went stiff and stopped breathing has to be assessed today; "maybe it was just reflux" is not a decision anyone can make safely at home, and I can't tell you which it was from here.

What you already did vs. what helps more

You assumed it was nothing and didn't tell the doctor. That was the part to change: an unwitnessed episode in a baby under 3 months is exactly the history a clinician needs, and "it happened once and he seems fine" is not the same as "nothing happened."

Before you go, write this down — it takes two minutes and it is what the clinician will ask first:

• What time it started, and how long the baby was stiff or not breathing
• Whether lips, face or tongue went blue, grey or pale at any point
• Whether there was coughing, gagging, choking, or vomit, and in what order
• Whether the baby came back on his own, and how long afterwards he was floppy, sleepy or normal
• Feeds in the last 24 hours vs. normal, and how many wet nappies
• Temperature and how it was taken
• Anything within reach of the cot or bed — small parts, loose bedding, coins, pet food, a sibling's toy — even if you think he could not have reached it
• Anyone else at home who has a cough

Do not / avoid

• No finger in the mouth or throat to fish for something, no shaking, no holding upside down. A blind finger sweep can push it further in.
• No medicine, syrup, honey, water or anything by mouth for a 12-week-old — including leftover antibiotics, reflux or acid medicine started as your own trial. You cannot change anything safely without a clinician, and it can mask what this is.
• Do not wait for a second episode to confirm it. If it happens again, that is the call, not a reassessment at home.
• Practical, for tonight's logistics: keep the school-age sibling out of the room during an episode and away from the cot afterwards. If it recurs, one adult handles the baby and calls on speaker; the other keeps the sibling out. Do not drive with the baby and a drowsy toddler alone.

If it happens again — decision tree

Any of these: stops breathing or pauses, goes blue or grey, stiffens or twitches, cannot finish a feed, stops wetting nappies, cries weakly, or goes floppy or hard to wake → call your local emergency number now, put the phone on speaker, and follow the dispatcher. Say: "12-week-old, stopped breathing once before, needed help to recover." If the baby is unresponsive but breathing normally, roll them onto their side and keep re-checking breathing. Keep them warm and stay with them. Do not lay a baby with breathing difficulty flat, and do not delay the call to check anything else first.

What success looks like in the next 24 hours

Not a cure — a plan. The baby is seen today, the timeline is in the clinician's hands, and you leave with three things written down: exactly what should make you call back, the after-hours number for your area, and who to ask for if it happens again. Feeds and nappies returning to normal over the day is the good sign, but it does not cancel the visit.

I made you a one-page sheet for the visit — it has the timeline blanks and the questions to ask before you leave: baby-breathing-episode-onepager-461c53b2.pdf

Which country and city are you in? Tell me and I will point you to the right door for tonight.